Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
