I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
