At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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