I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My dick has a subreddit
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
