I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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