It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
