VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
