i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
