So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
