sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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