is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize