so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
