Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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