I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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