New low: just hacked my moms facebook
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
