There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
