ugly people sure do ruin things
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
