I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
