Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I'm really busy with my period
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