I wish i was in the wii world.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
