how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
