i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
