a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize