So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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