Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize