I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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