You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
