Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
