he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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