Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
