So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I enjoy the company of your penis
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
