as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
