Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
