Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
