oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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