her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
