he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
