We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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