ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
