I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Your tits are I can't wait for
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
