Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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