Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize