NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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