Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
