ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
