you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
how does that bad decision feel?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
