I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize