this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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