PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
