my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
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My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
