trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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