I bet he comes in French.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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