Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
