Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
