i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
