What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
