We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize