how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
