i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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