Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
