Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
