even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
My pussy is not your playground.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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